Self struggle ;)

 

Self Struggle

Today is April 4 of 2021, week 5 for my second semester. Even though it's already in week 5, I'm still weak, lazy, have no motivation to start study. Despite my loaded work, I make time to write on what I've been thinking, my overthinking, my insecurity hit me hard.

In my opinion, my first semester is easier than my second semester. It is because, since I am in online learning, when my first semester, we don't know each other well yet. I'm not sure if anyone else feels the same, but anywhere we go, there must have people that I feel I can't with he/she, I mean personality clash maybe. I don't know. 

Honestly, I am struggling with myself, with my mind, with my heart and not the people around me. Typically, fr this latest semester, I know my classmates more, I know my lecturer more, and then I also know and feel with those that my personality can't goes with or easier, I feel not comfortable and a people who make me feel that I'm bad.

However, naturally, I am struggling with myself, I don't have to let them be in my mind. They don't deserve it. I have no friends or relative, to talk about this, so I feel comfier If share all my though here because nobody will judge me.

Actually, in my faculty, there is this one lady, mybe its my fault or what i don't know, but everything starts when I tex with her and asking something, but then after the day past, i think she becomes angy with me. One day, she messages me, and the way she texts is kinda rude. I hate this feeling, and everywhen i think about this, it makes me stress.

i don't know how to enjoy my degree year, but i'm really sure one of them is by not thinking about people and focus on myself.